I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
