Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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