conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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