this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
