idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
