I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
