highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Semen is not good for contacts.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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