I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
