I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
