what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
