the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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