sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
