if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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