He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my sisters under your porch take her home
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
