She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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