I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
