I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
