Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
