But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
