Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
