I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Randomize
