4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
