It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
