so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
