How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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