I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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