what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
