yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
