Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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