Where did you get a picture of my penis
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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