We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
