piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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