shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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