Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
