My balls are so social today.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
