My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
