Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize