I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
