some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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