After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
