I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
