I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
