I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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