Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
