Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Dicks are not precious.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
