all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
