I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
