..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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