No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
