Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
