Define "chronic" masturbator.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
