no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
